Safety and consent on Adults.co.uk

Adult dating asks for more trust, faster, than most dating does. That is exactly why the people who get the most out of it tend to be the most careful: clear about what they want, unhurried about meeting, and quick to walk away from anything that feels off.

Consent comes first, and keeps coming

In England and Wales the law says a person consents if they agree by choice and have the freedom and capacity to make that choice (Sexual Offences Act 2003, section 74). Scotland and Northern Ireland have their own laws built on the same idea of free agreement. In practice, for adult dating, that means:

• A clear yes, not the absence of a no. Silence, hesitation or going along with it is not agreement.
• Agreeing to one thing is not agreeing to another. A flirtatious chat, a meeting or a hotel booking commits nobody to anything.
• Anyone can change their mind at any point, including part-way through. Stop when asked, without sulking or argument.
• Someone who is very drunk, asleep or otherwise unable to choose cannot consent.
• Condoms and other agreed protections are part of what was agreed. Removing one without asking breaks that agreement.

Our consent guide goes into each of these, and the guide to talking about desires and limits helps you have the conversation before you meet.

What Adults.co.uk checks, and what it doesn't

Every photo is reviewed, but what members write about themselves is not checked, and profiles from partner sites in the same network appear here too. Some members carry an optional ID badge. Our profile checks page explains what each check does and doesn't prove.

Before and at a first meeting

A first meeting should be public, on your own terms, and easy to leave.

• Have a short live video call first.
• Meet somewhere public and busy, and get there and home under your own steam.
• Tell a friend who you're meeting, where, and when you'll check in.
• Keep your drink with you and your phone charged.
• Leave whenever you want to. You owe nobody an explanation.

Our first meeting safety plan covers each of these in more detail, including moving on to somewhere private only once you're sure.

Sexual health

Testing is part of grown-up adult dating. NHS sexual health clinics across the UK test and treat sexually transmitted infections free and in confidence, without a GP referral, and condoms are free from clinics. Our sexual health guide explains home testing kits, PrEP and PEP, nation by nation.

Money requests and sextortion

Never send money to someone you haven't met, and never pay a blackmailer. Two patterns cause most of the harm in adult dating. The first is the money request: a sudden emergency, a travel fee, an investment tip. The second is sextortion, where someone persuades you to send intimate images or perform on video, then threatens to share the material unless you pay.

Be cautious about sending intimate images to anyone you can't verify. If you're threatened, don't pay: payment rarely ends the demands. Stop replying, keep the evidence, and get help from the numbers below. Our guide to scams and sextortion explains how these schemes work.

If someone has shared, or is threatening to share, your intimate images, the Revenge Porn Helpline supports adults in the UK and can help get images taken down. StopNCII.org lets you create a digital fingerprint of an image, without uploading the image itself, so participating platforms can block it. Sharing someone's intimate images without consent is a crime in every part of the UK.

Reporting a member

Report a member to us and, if a crime is involved, to the police as well. Use the members help centre, giving their username, what happened and roughly when. Screenshots help. The contact page explains what to include.

Who to call

After a sexual assault, you can also go to a sexual assault referral centre for medical care and support, whether or not you decide to report to the police. Local details for Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland are on our regional pages: Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.